Change is one of the few constants in life, yet for many people, it feels like one of the greatest threats. Whether it is starting a new career, leaving a toxic relationship, improving health, or taking a leap into personal growth, change can feel overwhelming and terrifying. Natalie and Joeel Rivera, founders of Transformation Academy, have identified a recurring psychological pattern they call “change amnesia.” This cycle explains why people often start on the path toward transformation with excitement, only to find themselves back where they started, unsure why they gave up.

Here we will explore the fear of change and the phenomenon of change amnesia, why it keeps us stuck, and how to break the cycle to achieve lasting transformation.

Why Humans Fear Change

From an evolutionary standpoint, human beings are wired for survival, not constant reinvention. Our brains are designed to seek comfort and predictability because familiarity once meant safety. Anything uncertain—whether a new environment, new behavior, or new belief system—was historically a potential threat.

Even in the modern world, where most threats are psychological rather than physical, our brains still react to change as if it were dangerous. We may know rationally that starting an exercise routine or leaving an unfulfilling job is good for us, but emotionally, the fear of uncertainty can feel overwhelming.

What Is Change Amnesia?

When the process of transformation becomes uncomfortable, our brains conveniently minimize or even “erase” the memory of how bad things were.

Imagine someone who commits to leaving a toxic workplace. In the beginning, they feel motivated—excited even. But after a few weeks of job searching, facing rejection, or dealing with uncertainty, their brain tells them, “Maybe my old job wasn’t so bad. At least I had a steady paycheck.” Soon, they may talk themselves into staying put, only to feel miserable again later.

Change amnesia grows stronger over time. The more times someone begins and abandons change, the easier it becomes to forget their original reasons for wanting transformation. This leads to discouragement, shame, and the belief that change is impossible.

The Cycle of Fear and Change Amnesia

Change Amnesia involves a repeating cycle that explains why so many people get stuck:

1. Discomfort – Life feels unfulfilling, painful, or stagnant. You know something needs to change.

• Example: Constant stress at work leads to burnout. 
• Lesson: Discomfort is a signal. Instead of avoiding it, sit with it—it’s the beginning of growth. 

2. Breaking Point – Trauma, exhaustion, or frustration pushes you to a tipping point. 

• Example: After yet another late night at the office, you snap and declare, “I’m done.”

3. Decision – You commit to making a change and feel a short-lived surge of hope and empowerment. 

• Example: You polish your résumé, apply for jobs, or sign up for a gym membership.

4. Fear – Doubts and anxiety creep in. You begin to question yourself. 

• Example: “What if I don’t find a better job? What if I fail?”

5. Amnesia – You forget why you wanted to change. The old discomfort seems “not so bad.” 

• Example: “Sure, my job stresses me out, but at least I know what to expect.” 

6. Backtracking – You rationalize your way back into your old situation, convincing yourself to give up. 

• Example: You stop applying for jobs and settle back into the very environment you wanted to escape.

1. Extreme pain or trauma overrides your fear. The suffering becomes so unbearable that you finally break free.
2. Self-honesty interrupts the cycle. You confront your self-limiting beliefs and recognize that your discomfort has become part of your identity or even a “badge of honor.”

Why We Stay Stuck in Change Amnesia

Several factors make the cycle hard to break:

1. Comfort-seeking nature – Our brains crave the familiar, even when the familiar is painful.
2. Identity attachment – We often wear our struggles like a badge: “I’ve always been bad with money,” or “Stress is just who I am.” Letting go means redefining ourselves.
3. Fear of loss – Change requires leaving something behind, whether it’s a job, a habit, or a relationship. Even unhealthy attachments can feel safer than the unknown.
4. Short-term memory bias – When discomfort from change is immediate (awkwardness, fear, effort) but rewards are delayed (health, freedom, fulfillment), it’s easy to minimize the past pain that led to the decision in the first place.

The Truth About Real Change

True change does not happen just because we “should” change. It requires clarity, desire, and courage. There are five truths that reveal why many people struggle:

1. You don’t really want to change. If you are only changing because of pressure from others or society, you’ll sabotage yourself. Example: quitting smoking because people tell you to, not because you’re truly ready.
2. You don’t know what you really want. Without a clear vision, your goals feel vague, and doubt wins.
3. Your dream or reward isn’t big enough. If the prize feels smaller than the fear, fear wins. Transformation requires a compelling future to pull you forward.
4. You let fear dominate your future self. Settling is easier than betting on your better self. Fear shrinks possibility; courage expands it.
5. You are attached to your problem. Sometimes, suffering becomes part of your identity. Letting it go feels like losing part of yourself.

Real change happens only when you remember why you wanted to change and acknowledge why you’ve been avoiding it.

Overcoming Fear and Breaking the Cycle

Here are practical strategies, drawn from Transformation Academy’s teachings, to help break free:

1. Reconnect with Your “Why”

Write down the reasons you want change. When fear strikes, revisit this list. Memory fades quickly under stress—your “why” must be visible and undeniable.

2. Normalize Discomfort

Instead of resisting discomfort, expect it. Growth always requires temporary unease. Treat discomfort as a companion, not an enemy.

3. Build a Vision Bigger Than Your Fear

Visualize the reward in detail. What will your life look like after the change? Make it so vivid and desirable that it outweighs the pull of fear.

4. Practice Self-Honesty

Identify your self-limiting beliefs and how you’ve made your problems part of your identity. Ask yourself: “Am I holding onto this because it’s familiar, not because it’s good for me?”

5. Create Accountability

Support from mentors, friends, or coaches makes it harder to backtrack. Transformation rarely happens in isolation.

6. Celebrate Small Wins

Progress is often incremental. By celebrating small steps, you build momentum that makes it harder for fear to derail you.

7. Anticipate Amnesia

Know that your brain will try to minimize past pain. Keep a journal where you record your discomfort and reasons for change so you can remind yourself when amnesia strikes.

When Change Sticks

Transformation solidifies when two conditions align:

1. Pain is fully acknowledged. You stop romanticizing the old discomfort and admit it was unsustainable.
2. Vision is anchored. You know exactly why you want change and are unwilling to let fear dictate your future.

From Fear to Faith

Fear of change and change amnesia are not flaws of character; they are natural psychological patterns rooted in human survival. But when left unchecked, they keep us in a destructive loop—moving forward, then retreating, forgetting why we wanted change in the first place.

This Change Amnesia framework empowers us to break this cycle by recognizing discomfort as a signal, confronting self-limiting beliefs, and reconnecting with our deepest “why.” True change requires self-honesty, courage, and a dream powerful enough to eclipse fear.

The choice is always between fear and growth. Once we realize that our better future depends on remembering the pain of the past and holding fast to the vision ahead, change stops being something to fear and becomes something to embrace.

Are you ready for change?

References

• Rivera, N., & Rivera, J. (Transformation Academy). Overcoming Fear of Change and Change Amnesia. Transformation Academy training materials and courses.
• Transformation Academy. (n.d.). Personal Development and Life Coaching Programs. Retrieved from https://transformationacademy.com
• Bridges, W. (2009). Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change. Da Capo Press.
• Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1992). Stages of Change in the Modification of Problem Behaviors. Progress in Behavior Modification, 28, 183–218.
• Kotter, J. P. (1996). Leading Change. Harvard Business School Press.